The Double Standard… and parenting.

18 Apr

Wow. Two weeks since my last post. Let me apologize… it has been madness here, and frankly, not all that interesting. My days are filled with shopping for outrageously priced groceries, tandem potty training, attempting to buy furniture so we can finally get fully unpacked, and working on “the project”. Mark Zuckerberg, I am not. Suffice it to say that I am on the obstacle course of entrepreneurship with a broken leg and no course map. I am however, still racing, and will drag myself across the finish line by my pinky fingers alone if I have to.

To comment on the following… I am quite late, but relevant, and I feel I need to say my peace. Last September, some of you may remember, TwinXX had a pretty major abdominal surgery. Do you remember what a hard time we had with scheduling? We kept getting bumped because of the psychologically tormented “crowding operating rooms with procedures to grotesquely amputate body parts”. Do you remember that? No? Yeah, I don’t either.

On April 11, Dr. Keith Ablow published a rant against a J. Crew ad on I am publicly declaring that I find Dr. Keith Ablow’s idiocy as offensive as if he had written a rant against “coloreds sharing the water fountain” or giving women The Vote, the latter of which really wouldn’t surprise me now.

His unfounded cause and effect (il)logic  as well as his crazed and baseless declarations of fact and fiction make me wonder if, in fact, it was he who neglected to take his internet-procured Prozac.

TwinXX… she is probably too much like her mother. It is actually a bit creepy. She is only 22 months old, but I can already see a headstrong, independent, opinionated, I-will-do-it-myself-and-I-don’t-want-help young lady/dare-devil emerging. She likes purple… and black. She has just started selecting her own clothes and bringing them to me when she is ready to get dressed. I thought it was so cute when she discarded her shiny, pink, light up tennis shoes and demanded her brother’s black and red ones instead. Why not? It is what I might have done. My favorite shoes when I was little, I literally called my “Daddy Shoes” because to me they resembled his work shoes. They were a  brown loafer/laced shoe, probably intended for boys, but I picked them out myself and loved them dearly. I also collected Hot Wheels, played soccer, loved horror movies, monsters,  and pretty much anything creepy crawly. And Black. Never Pink. Ever. (Although recently I have given the color a second chance and actually like it in the right circumstances.)

TwinXY, on the other hand, stole his sister’s first doll when he was only 6 months old and she is still his night-night baby. He is emotional and has been from birth; he is approval seeking, extremely particular about everything, and sooooo sensitive. He loves the piano – children’s versions of which we have only found in three different shades of pink. Hmmm, choices. Support his innate love of the instrument or deny him because it is pink? What kind of question is that? And, he like to steal TwinXX’s clothes. Last month, it was her hoodie with which he was obsessed.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t get her out of his:

This month, they are trading sun hats. What it will be next month, I don’t know. Actually, I don’t care, except that I am sure to find it equally cute and amusing.

They are also both currently addicted to earmuffs, even though it is crazy hot outside.

Oh no! Perhaps I should deny them salmon for fear they will experience cultural confusion and grow up to be Eskimos?

All being said, and despite my despicable parenting supporting my children in their eccentricities, TwinXX is a dance-y girlie girl who LOVES her dresses and TwinXY is rough-and-tumble and ALL BOY. My children are who they are, just as I am who I am, and I will continue to love and support them in growing up to be accepting, thoughtful, productive, and gracious members of society regardless if they are Eskimos or not.

In summary, Dr. Ablow is making a CRITICAL (and incorrect) assumption: previous generations’ habit of cramming children and people into pre-determined “boxes” and molds of social acceptance did not prevent “psychological penalty”. Without that assumption, his article has no foundation (convoluted and crack-pot as it may be).

Dr. Ablow – leave us now. Collect your supporters, find an island where you can all strive to be just like one another, and don’t ever come back. I do not want your brand of hatred, of judgement, of small-mindedness, polluting public consciousness and inhibiting the growth of the global human spirit. You are what is wrong with America. Shame on you.

4 Responses to “The Double Standard… and parenting.”

  1. Malin Lundberg April 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    Wasn´t long since we saw them, but they are growing and growing and growing… Have started to work on my husband with comments about Hong Kong and what a wonderful city it is…. May take more than a year or two, but it will happen. Meanwhile I´m satisfied reading here!

    Hugs from Malin

    • window2chaos April 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

      Thanks, Malin! We can’t wait for the two of you to come visit!!! We will have soooo many things to do!

  2. Kayla April 19, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Your twins are TOO CUTE.

    • Steve April 21, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

      I like pink too!
      And black of course! :o)

      I love reading your blog Elizabeth! Miss y’all!!

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