Hong Kong’s newest gang: The East Side Plinkas

My kids are bullies.

OK. They are not yet two years old so malice is not exactly built into their psycho-social development and patterning, but they are still bullies, if only by (virtue of) their numbers. Most kids are singletons, meaning (I assume) that they spend most of their time playing alone or with a yielding parent/older sibling. They may attend a daycare situation where they play with other children of similar age, but they maintain a sense of me vs. (or with) them. When I watch singletons play, I observe two main types: the “Yay! A buddy!” type and the awful, bratty type (you know the one… selfish, whiney, generally with a snotty nose, and never quite as cute as the mother is convinced they are). Then there are mine. They need theme music. And their own gang symbol. Everyone knows when the East Side Plinkas arrive. No, you will not enter the play cottage, play with the tiny kitchen, or with any of the dishes, because WE are. Want to play “car” with the steering wheel next to the slide? You can play when WE decide you may and/or only if WE don’t want to. And by we, I mean if TwinXX is playing kitchen and some other kid wants to come over and play too, one squeal and TwinXY is running over to defend her honor, strategically placing his full body mass between said other child and whatever toy TwinXX wants. It is actually really funny to watch because he refuses to make eye contact and acts like the other child simply doesn’t exist. She will gladly reciprocate. Oh, you were riding on the toy car? How can you not give it up to that cute little girl following you around (and staring you down). Cool, thanks. She hops on, drives straight over to TwinXY and gives him the car. You see, with this type of tag-team effort, they can monopolize the majority of the playhouse. Or the playroom. Or the playground.  Or anything they decide to.

Oh sorry. You want to play with the stove in the club house? Think again.

Another pair of b/g twins… maybe we could use some 4-year-old muscle?

Their solidarity is sweet and funny to watch… and somewhat embarrassing. You can only say, “No, no, no. Share.”, “Let him play with the sink, too”, “Let her play with the one you aren’t playing with” so many times before you sound like a complete lunatic. For now, I am patient, hoping this is ‘just a stage’ and that they grow out of it by three. Or high school. Otherwise – I hope Hong Kong, and the World are ready…