The best laid plans…

5 Jun

With our introduction to two-dom, the East Side Plinkas are becoming mommy’s little helpers. TwinXY is obsessed with the hand-vac and TwinXX likes to organize yellow toys and wipe things with towels or towel-like objects. It was these little hearts of pure intention from which today’s terror originated.

It was nap-time. I was amusing the twins as they were “sneaking” out of their bedroom and peeking over the arm of the couch. When we made eye contact and they were “caught”, they would burst into giggles and run back to their room. This went on for the better part of half an hour and then everything got quieter. In my sleep-deprived optimism, I actually thought they were settling down and in their room. Until, that is, I realized the mumbling sounded far too close. I glanced down the hall to see both of them standing in the bathroom, in the dark. Playing in the bathroom is a big no-no, for obvious reasons, so I walked over to provide the requisite parental re-direction. My brain clearly does not fire as quickly as it used to because, as I felt one foot plop down in a wet mess, I couldn’t stop the other mid-step before it settled in the puddle next to its mate. A warm puddle. I then blurted something unintelligible as I dodged the toilet brush being haphazardly flung around in the air, droplets of warm LiquidX flying. I settled on, “Aaaaaagggghhhhhh! Grosssss! OUT!!! Sit!!! DON”T MOVE!” There stood the three of us, in the dark, in a giant puddle of pee. Six feet that, when they took any step to get away from the horror would only inflict greater harm on the surrounding areas. The toilet brush was soaked in it, though my fear was that it has actually seen worse, much worse, and that was now all over the floor, too. Horrified, angry, disgusted, I set the kids in the hallway and washed all exposed skin. I put them in their beds for nap and you could tell they knew better than to get up. Grrrrr.

I then proceeded to clean the mess and the reality of the situation set in.

TwinXX had used her little potty. In an effort to be “big”, she (or they) decided to empty the little potty in the big potty like Mommy does. Apparently, that did not play out quite as planned. When things went awry, TwinXY knew just what to do. The toilet brush is for cleaning, so he got it and was swirling it around on the floor in an effort to clean up. When I walked in, he raised it in the air in an attempt to explain. Awwww, so sweet. But in the end, I still got to clean up nine square feet of pee. Not so sweet.

And so, I am left to quote Robert Burns:

       The best laid schemes of mice and men
       Go often askew,
       And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
       For promised joy!

PS: I know there is a theme emerging. I promise that my next post will not be about urine!

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One Response to “The best laid plans…”

  1. Jan June 6, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    yuck. Potty training X 2! omg. One at a time was bad enough. You have working parts X 2; thinking and planning and testing brains X 2; and messes X 2!

    God help you!!

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