Geographically Single

15 Jul

I have been introduced to a new term – “geographically single”. It very accurately describes the left-at-home spouses who have mates in the military, are pilots, or have travelling jobs that keep them away more than 50% of the time. I think fire-fighter spouses should be included, too, but arguing who qualifies for this unique title is not the point. The point is, if your partner is a workaholic, but you don’t need to consider what time zone they are in before you call them, you don’t really get it. Captain has just returned from an extended trip; he was home 7 non-consecutive days in nine weeks. (I know, military wives are mocking me now.) No schedule. No return date. And now, no idea when he leaves again. We see him when we see him. This means no plans can be made – dinner parties, date nights, family outings, birthdays… nothing. Sure, every black cloud has a silver lining. I get to watch whatever I want on TV, pizza does not require the crispy or hand-tossed negotiation, and I can take a girl’s night here and there, which I did this past Saturday. It was great – I wore my highest heels, we went to a super swank hotel bar, had a Korean table-grill dinner, and then rounded out the night with our final stop at a steakhouse bar overlooking the harbor where we ordered a chocolate souffle and enjoyed the skyline. It was good to get out sans children and I had a good time. Funny thing is, I would have previously disagreed with myself, but things are different now. I don’t feel different, but the undercurrents have changed. I find myself weighing the Pros and Cons of the night:


1. In the back of my mind all evening was, “Geez, let me stick to low-alcohol frou-frou drinks. I have to be up at 7 with the kids.” Huh? Who am I? …as I gaze longingly at the Macallan behind the counter.

2. I now buy all my own drinks. This going out thing is expensive. On a side note – why are these frou-frou drinks as expensive as a single-malt? You can’t tell if the vodka is well or top-shelf once it is buried in lychee and watermelon, which, by the way, are everywhere here, so whyyyy?

3. Playing wing-woman

4. I dance alone


1. I am no longer compelled to feign interest in the world of finance just to talk to some hottie at the bar and later find out that he is just another a-hole on a business trip with his wedding ring in his pocket. This is a doubly good thing, seeing as light-weight cocktails make this a much more daunting task.

2. I no longer feel a mild pang of guilt as I write down a completely wrong number on a bar napkin. This is the given conclusion to Pro#1, and therefore never happens.

3. I dance alone

So, although I generally hate labels, I am adopting this one, because it is spot on. Geographically single – it’s all the work of being single without any of the sex.

Note: Urban Dictionary incorrectly equates being geographically single to justified cheating. General consensus states (and is certainly true in my case) that it is the act of being married, or partnered, while separated by long distance in space and times.

One Response to “Geographically Single”

  1. ash1409 July 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    Vow, i never knew such a term existed. I lived this kind of life being a merchant navy wife for 7 years. 6 months at sea and 2-3 months at home for our guys and unless you are willing to leave work and be with him at sea , you have to be “geographically single”. Really loved the post as the topic is so close to my heart and i could rant for hours on this.

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